With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I wanted to share a little bit about what it is like to be a working mom. In particular, what it was like as a new mom, and a stay at home business owner. Ironically many working moms now find themselves working from home as well, and can see the perks and the challenges that come along with it, first hand.
As my world came to a stop, and I gave birth to our little boy, life outside my emotional cocoon kept going. The e-mails and phone calls kept coming.
I received an email while I was at the hospital, in labor. Someone asking for information about family photos. I send these types of e-mail responses all of the time, so I tried to reply. But I just didn’t have the ability to focus… even between the mid-level contractions. So, I put my phone down, knowing that because I didn’t respond right away, I wouldn’t book this job.
At home with a 2 week old, emotional and sleep deprived, with stitches almost healed… I returned a missed call.( A woman was asking about doing a photo session in a few months.) I got her voicemail, so I gave her some information and explained, “I just had a baby, I am taking some time, but I’ll get back to you in further detail as soon as I can.” … but she just kept calling!
And there I was, faced with a new equation to balance. How do I give this perfect new life all of my love and attention while keeping up with the busy wedding season, and continue to uphold my standards for my clients.
Questions in my head: How soon can I be healed up and carry my camera equipment? What will a 12 hour work day be like when running on little to no sleep? How will I feel to be away from my baby for the first time? Will he take a bottle? My son wants to nurse every hour, and I have editing and emails piling up… Should I have closed shop for a few months?
Mothers know, that “mom guilt” is no joke. I would look at him sleeping in my arms, and say, “I could never be good enough”. That is truly how it feels.
But! In my opinion I have the best case scenario. I get to be a stay at home mom AND do what I love for a living! So if my tiny baby has to share my lap with my computer sometimes, that’s fine. If he has to learn to play on his own a bit more so that I can get work done, I will have to forgive myself. And if I didn’t take any maternity leave, it is only so that I can make this life work, and be with him as much as possible!
So to all the mom’s out there who ask themselves how they will do it, or if you are doing the right thing... You are doing an amazing job, and you are enough.
